Quote of the Day: "Worry is like a rocking chair - it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere" -- Dorothy Galyean
I don't quite get the brouhaha over spam. What is the big deal? You don't even have to open it. You can tell it's crap just by looking at the headers. Would I really be interested in a product that guarantees to increase the size of my penis? Neat trick if you can do it folks, especially since I don't have one in the first place. I'll pass.
Hot teenage girls? Farm Animals? I don't think so folks. Don't want to spy on anyone. Not interested in magical weight loss programs, a new mortgage, nor am I interested helping the ex-financial minister of lower Uganda launder his ill gotten gains. So what do I do with all these unwanted e-mails?
Simple. I highlight each and every one of them along with the sale notices from Barnes & Nobel, Victoria's Secret, E-bags and Chadwick's then I hit the little trash can icon on the Eudora menu bar. One extra click on the Empty Trash icon and I've assigned them all to the ether. Gone. No more spam.
I don't need fancy filters. I don't need e-mail watch dogs sniffing out the spam in my e-mail. I don't need the privacy seal group, Truste putting their seal of approval on ads that I might want to read. I can make these decisions myself. Two mouse clicks and all the spam is gone. So I ask again ... what's the big deal?
Why do we need anti-spam legislation? Do people really read this stuff? Do they really believe that the aforementioned ex-financial minister of lower Uganda has money for them? Do they really need protection from their own stupidity?
I've heard people claim that it's a violation of their privacy. Well, let me tell you, you have a lot more important privacy issues to worry about post 9/11 than the fact that someone has your e-mail address. The FBI is reading over your shoulder, spam and all - how's that for a violation of privacy? And what about all the junk snail mail that you get? Those people have your actual home address, folks. I worry about that a lot more than I worry about someone having my e-mail address.
Why are there no groups taking up arms to fight the battle against junk snail mail? Not only are they killing trees with all their unnecessary paper products, after you toss it away it fills a landfill somewhere or must use energy so it can be recycled. All spam does is use up a few bits of bandwidth.
And while we're at it. Where are the people rising up to prevent those folks from trying to sell me replacement windows at dinner time? Why is no one protecting me from the phone scams? (remind me ... I have a story about this) Or the credit card pushers? Or the people who want me to switch long distance carriers?
These annoying pests call at the worst possible moments. I swear they have tiny cameras in all our homes so they know the moment you sit before a plate of hot food or sit down to watch your favorite show. Where are all the privacy advocates then? Never mind about the spam. I'll deal with the spam. Get the ads out of my snail mail and keep the phone sharks away. IMO, they are much more of a problem than a few bits of spam.
The Story Thought I'd forget, didn't you?
I was home from work one day and I got a phone call from a very chipper young lady who informed me that I'd won a prize. Kind of strange since I hadn't entered any contests.
I usually respond to such phone calls by interrupting the spiel with "Sorry I'm not interested," then I hang up before they get a chance to recover, but that day I didn't. Guess I was bored or something.
The young lady went on to explain that I had a choice of prizes. Oh goodie! I could have a Chevy Blazer, some sort of boat, a dream vacation or $50,000. All I had to do was agree to accept a catalog they would send me, then purchase some merchandise from it ... and pay the shipping on whatever prize I chose.
While I was mentally calculating the shipping charges on the Chevy Blazer or the boat, it hit me. The perfect solution. A no-brainer, really.
"Okay," I told the caller. "I'll take the $50,000. Pick me something out of your catalog, deduct it from the $50,000. Also deduct the postage - hey send it Fed Ex. I can afford it. Then send me a check for the balance."
There was utter silence on the other end of the phone. I had hit the jackpot. Stumped the band.
"Ehr ... I don't think you understand," Ms Phone Scam person said. "It doesn't work that way."
"Why not," I responded. "Makes perfect sense to me. Fits all your rules. I like it. I'll take it. When can I expect my check?"
"Well it doesn't work that way," the young lady stammered. I had her. She couldn't explain why.
"Well, then I don't want to play," I said and hung up.
A few minutes later, the phone rings again. Same scam. This time it's a young man. He patiently explains all the rules like he is talking to an idiot. I patiently explain my interpretation. He patiently explains that the contest doesn't work that way. I patiently explain that if they want me to play - those are the rules I'm playing by. We agree to disagree and hang up.
A few minutes more pass by. My phone rings again. This time I am speaking with the senior Vice President of the ABC Phone Scam Company. I'm suitably impressed - NOT!
"There seems to be a bit of a misunderstanding," he says. "No," I reply, "There's no misunderstanding at all. If you want me to play, I have explained the conditions under which I will participate. If you don't like them, we have nothing to discuss. Have a nice day."
"But wait," he says, trying desperately to explain. I'm laughing at him going over and over the same rules like I'm some kind of simpleton who just doesn't understand.
I can't make up my mind if they were all just passing me around the scam shop because my response was a first for them and they were getting a charge out of trying to challenge my logic - or did they really think they'd caught a live one who needed some convincing. To this day I'm still not sure, but I never got the check. Hey it was a way to pass a half hour. What can I say? I'm easily amused.
Posted by Cyberkat at February 10, 2002 11:57 AM | TrackBack