Seeds of Wisdom: "A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance when the need for illusion is deep." -- Josh Billings.
Yesterday on one of the New York radio stations, they were discussing some new kind of panty hose called "revolutionary new shaping panty hose." I don't recall what the brand was. Anyway, these "revolutionary new shaping panty hose" are constructed so they "lift and separate" your butt - in other words they end what a friend of mine calls "flat butt syndrome."
My question is - two questions, actually - do we need this? And why?
I can't speak for other women, but most of the ones I know seem to feel they have more butt than they care to have. What we really need is "revolutionary new butt reducer panty hose."
If there are any women out there who really want more butt, come and see me. I'll gladly give you some of mine. In fact if you have shoulders that are too wide or a neck that is too long, perhaps we can work out a trade. I'm tired of bra straps that end up around my elbows because they've fallen off my too narrow shoulders. Racer back is the only way to go and they are soooo hard to find. I'm also tired of turtle necks that bunch up because my chin practically meets my collar bone. I long for a long neck.
Are there any women out there who are truly happy with their bodies? I'm looking for a show of hands, here.
And why is it that those women who have nearly perfect bodies in the eyes of the rest of us, are the least satisfied? I've heard some women say they're happy with their bodies, but I think mostly they've just come to accept them. I find it hard to believe, that given the choice, they wouldn't make at least some changes.
Men on the other hand supposedly don't consider this. They are supposed to be happy with whatever nature provided. Do not believe this either. They just don't talk about it.
If they were all perfectly satisfied with the hand they were dealt, there wouldn't be so many spam e-mails floating around offering products to increase penis size, or bulk up muscles. It's just a facade, ladies - they feel the same way we do, trust me on this.
A few years ago, I was taking a fabulous dance exercise class. I'd still be taking it, but the woman who taught the class was studying to be a sports trainer. When she graduated from the school, she got a job with the NY Giants football team and no longer had time. I miss that class.
This teacher had a fantastic body - a dancer's body, but not too skinny. We all hoped that if we took her class long enough, we'd look like her. She quit teaching before we were able to test this theory out.
We were discussing body shapes and sizes after class one day, and the discussion wandered into the area of liposuction. I said that I wished they could suck the fat from one part of the body - where you didn't want it - and pump it into another part where you could use it. Mostly, I'd like to take what's in my butt and on my hips and pump it into my boobs. (that was back then, now I have more than enough to spare - they can take it all away, thank you very much!)
The teacher said, "But that fat knows where it came from, and it would just go back home. And think what you would look like as it traveled!"
Rats! Just when I thought I'd found a perfect solution - foiled by homing fat!
Our dear teacher also assured us that everyone has a little pot (no not that kind of pot - the kind that makes your stomach stick out). We looked at her perfectly flat tummy and asked, "Did you leave yours at home, today?"
Some interesting things to check out ...
On Inside Gretchen's Head a few days ago, Gretchen was experimenting with a brain test. Someone sent me this awhile back, or I got it from an e-mail list. It's really neat. It tests to see if you are right-brained or left-brained. Also to see if you are more auditory or visual.
As I knew before I took the test - because I've taken such tests in the past - I'm visual and middle-brained (I know it sounds like addle-brained, which many people think I am, but I won't go into that - not today anyway) - but I lean toward the right brain hemisphere.
My score was 55% right, 45% left - 58.8% visual, 41.2% auditory. The really interesting aspect, however, was the analysis of the results. It was dead on.
"You have a distinct preference for creativity ..." it stated.
Me - Yep!
"You tend to see things in "wholes" without surrendering the ability to attend
to details. You an give them sufficient notice to be able to utilize and
incorporate them as part of an overall pattern."
Me - you have to see the forest instead of just the trees - that's why my Blog is called From the Treetop!
"It
is most likely that you will gravitate towards those endeavors which are
predominantly visual, but include some logic or structuring."
Me - took
me long enough to find a career which fits this description. The first time
I made a web page, I knew I'd found a home.
You can find this test here, here or here. Thanks to Bob - bob@aol.com (wow - he must have joined AOL the first week it came out.)
Also check out this new Blog, I've been reading - MLWebblog- thanks to Jonathon Delacour. I haven't been reading it long enough to add to my Blog Roll, but it's very interesting so far.
Truck on over to Blogsisters, if you get a chance. It's an interesting group of women called together by Jeneane Sessum. Kind of a wild free-for-all going on there at the moment, but I suspect that once things settle down, it will be a good place to hang out. Jeneane has issued an open invitation to all women bloggers (sorry, guys Jeneane says - "men can link, but they can't touch."). I haven't quite decided whether or not to join. I constantly have to ask myself, "do I really have time for this?" Unfortunately the answer is usually, "no," but I go ahead and do it anyway.
I once read a sign somewhere that read, "Stress comes from your mouth saying, "yes," when your stomach says, "no." So true, so true.
Posted by Cyberkat at March 2, 2002 11:50 AM | TrackBack