Seeds of Wisdom: "The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age." -- Lucille Ball
The folks on my father's side of the family have a knack for living a long time. My paternal grandmother lived until just short of her 102nd birthday. My father celebrated his 90th birthday, this past Tuesday.
He lives with my sister near Gettysburg, PA, and she had a party for him last weekend, so I drove down there with my aunt, his sister. She's 80 - shhh - don't tell anyone, I told you!
It really is a shame that so many of those who are lucky enough to survive into their 9th or 10th decade are too often stripped of their capability to enjoy the extra years of life.
My grandmother was virtually deaf and nearly blind, but pretty much otherwise had her health and her sharp mind until the end. Without the ability to see or hear, she lost the means to exercise her mind except for living in her imagination.
My father is sailing into those very same waters. He can see, but not very well. He can hear, but not very well. And that's sad, because much of the joy he took from life came from using those two particular faculties. He also has emphysema so even breathing is a chore for him.
He loved to read, and do crossword puzzles. Today he finds both activities very difficult. He loved music and was very proud of his splendid voice. Now he can barely hear himself speak, and when he tries to sing, he can't hear that either.
He is a golfer who can't play golf, and a dancer who can no longer dance. He's a talker and a social junkie. He loved being around people, chatting, laughing, pulling a leg or two. But Carroll Valley, where he lives is a little burg in the middle of nowhere and a long drive away for all of the family, but my sister. Most of the time these days, he sits alone watching birds and squirrels out of his window.And he loved my mother. She was his rock, his safe harbor, but she passed away 10 years ago last January.
A few years ago, when he was still capable of getting around on his own, I tried to talk him into moving back to north Jersey, where I live, where many of my relatives live, where I grew up. But my mother is buried in Pennsylvania, and he felt that that is where he wanted to be. Now he is even less prepared or inclined to make a move than he was back then.
It's not fair. If you lose your sight, then you should lose your hearing. If you lose your hearing, you shouldn't lose your sight. When you get to the point where your body fails you, but your mind is still sharp and active, you should be left with one of the portals that bring food to that mind. You should be able to read or do brain teaser puzzles. You should be able to hear music, a movie, a show on the History Channel or just have a stimulating conversation. You shouldn't be forced to fill your world with birds and squirrels no matter how much fun they can be to watch. It's just not fair.
Posted by Cyberkat at June 6, 2002 7:38 AM | TrackBack